So, I've written a few book-shaped objects. These are their stories ... (cue the "Law and Order: Special Victims' Unit" sound effect)
Yes, I have actually written a few novels. "Is there anything he cannot do?" You must be asking, Perhaps "Make movies or write books," comes the reply. But, for better or worse, I have written a trilogy of horror novels (or trilogy of horrible novels?) among other book-shaped objects.
We begin with "The House that Dripped Gore." (Synopsis) In 1975 an ill-fated paranormal investigation of the infamous Hull Mansion in Dorchester, New Hampshire led a hapless parapsychologist and his oddball team of fellow investigators down a gore-soaked rabbit hole of unrelenting horror. Together they were to unravel the gruesome secrets of the murderous Hull Family and awaken an otherworldly evil that could destroy mankind. This is their terrible tale. An intoxicating witch's brew of the horrific and the humorous, The House That Dripped Gore will baste your eyeballs with the sticky and malodorous saliva of comedy—covering them in a thick and pungent film of hilarity. Yes, The House That Dripped Gore has something for everyone, provided that "everyone" enjoys reading excessively graphic horror novels packed with tit and vomit jokes. It's a book that will make you throw your head back and loudly exclaim: "Ha! Ha! Ha! What an amusing romp! I am so very tickled to be reading this clever blend of horror and comedy! What a wonderful use of my spare time and money! I think I will recommend The House That Dripped Gore to all of my family members, friends and business associates, and perhaps even to my fellow cult members!" As a very attractive female (or male) reader once said in a public place while excitedly thumbing through their own copy of The House That Dripped Gore: "Yes sir! This comic horror novel is a real panty moistener!"
(Featuring several horrific illustrations by the author!)
Then we continue with "And They All Died Screaming." (Synopsis) Return, once again, to The House That Dripped Gore with this equally horrific and hilarious sequel. An unspeakable evil is stirring in the crumbling ruins of the haunted Hull Family mansion in Dorchester Massachusetts, and inept parapsychologist, Stanley Matheson is, once again, taking the bait. Lured back to the house of horrors, Matheson soon discovers that the fate of the human race may now rest in his jittery, butter-fingered hands. The second book of the Stanley Matheson trilogy It's a race against time and good taste, as Matheson and his usual team of oddballs engage in a battle to the death with the demonic forces of the Seven Legions of Darkness. Can the mentally-defective ghost detective save the world from a deadly alien plague that could spread insanity across the globe-shaped, world thingy? Can he locate the ancient codex that will permit him to vanquish the evils of Yarlock the Great Deceiver? Can your heart stand the shocking, blood-drenched saga packed into this gripping, book-shaped object with words and pictures printed upon its pages?
And finally we wrap up the exciting saga with "Island of the People Drinkers" (Synopsis) October 1979: Something horrible has taken refuge in the infamous Hapsburg Mansion on the foggy banks of Hog Island, Massachusetts ... something ancient ... something evil ... something bloodthirsty. Its lair was previously the home of a family of depraved, cannibal, Satan worshippers. But now the haunted hellhole rots in the mists of the isolated island ... a decaying monument symbolizing unspeakable terror. Only one man stands a chance against the house of horrors and the ghastly evil that lurks within its blood-soaked walls: Stanley Matheson, paranormal investigator and author of questionable talent ... a retired demon slayer possessing the awesome power of telekinesis. Recruited by his former monster-hunting colleagues to do battle with the blood-sucking menace, Matheson reluctantly turns vampire hunter with horrific and hilarious results. This third, blood-soaked sequel in the Stanley Matheson trilogy pits Matheson against and ancient, alien foe with a lust for human blood and the catchy, pop hits of Neil Sedaka. Island of the People Drinkers delivers West’s absurdist black humor and the usual buckets of gore and features illustrations by the author.
Then there is the novel tie-in adaptation of our movie, "Monsturd: A Novel of Fecal Terror" written by the screenwriters, Dan West and Rick Popko. You know this is a riveting read by the fact that it has sold at least zero copies to date as far as I know. (Synopsis) When escaped serial killer, Jack Schmitt suffers a fittingly horrific death in the sewer tunnels beneath Butte County, California, the shit hits the fan for the local sheriff's department and Schmitt's nemesis, FBI agent Susan Hannigan! A horrifying accident at Dutech Genetic Research Laboratories results in the killer's grotesque resurrection, and soon, using the county's sewer system as his underground lair, Schmitt exacts his odious revenge on the frightened citizens of Butte County. Do you dare spiral downward into the dark depths of this toilet bowl of terror? Read the horrific novel that is now a major motion picture sensation!
We begin with "The House that Dripped Gore." (Synopsis) In 1975 an ill-fated paranormal investigation of the infamous Hull Mansion in Dorchester, New Hampshire led a hapless parapsychologist and his oddball team of fellow investigators down a gore-soaked rabbit hole of unrelenting horror. Together they were to unravel the gruesome secrets of the murderous Hull Family and awaken an otherworldly evil that could destroy mankind. This is their terrible tale. An intoxicating witch's brew of the horrific and the humorous, The House That Dripped Gore will baste your eyeballs with the sticky and malodorous saliva of comedy—covering them in a thick and pungent film of hilarity. Yes, The House That Dripped Gore has something for everyone, provided that "everyone" enjoys reading excessively graphic horror novels packed with tit and vomit jokes. It's a book that will make you throw your head back and loudly exclaim: "Ha! Ha! Ha! What an amusing romp! I am so very tickled to be reading this clever blend of horror and comedy! What a wonderful use of my spare time and money! I think I will recommend The House That Dripped Gore to all of my family members, friends and business associates, and perhaps even to my fellow cult members!" As a very attractive female (or male) reader once said in a public place while excitedly thumbing through their own copy of The House That Dripped Gore: "Yes sir! This comic horror novel is a real panty moistener!"
(Featuring several horrific illustrations by the author!)
Then we continue with "And They All Died Screaming." (Synopsis) Return, once again, to The House That Dripped Gore with this equally horrific and hilarious sequel. An unspeakable evil is stirring in the crumbling ruins of the haunted Hull Family mansion in Dorchester Massachusetts, and inept parapsychologist, Stanley Matheson is, once again, taking the bait. Lured back to the house of horrors, Matheson soon discovers that the fate of the human race may now rest in his jittery, butter-fingered hands. The second book of the Stanley Matheson trilogy It's a race against time and good taste, as Matheson and his usual team of oddballs engage in a battle to the death with the demonic forces of the Seven Legions of Darkness. Can the mentally-defective ghost detective save the world from a deadly alien plague that could spread insanity across the globe-shaped, world thingy? Can he locate the ancient codex that will permit him to vanquish the evils of Yarlock the Great Deceiver? Can your heart stand the shocking, blood-drenched saga packed into this gripping, book-shaped object with words and pictures printed upon its pages?
And finally we wrap up the exciting saga with "Island of the People Drinkers" (Synopsis) October 1979: Something horrible has taken refuge in the infamous Hapsburg Mansion on the foggy banks of Hog Island, Massachusetts ... something ancient ... something evil ... something bloodthirsty. Its lair was previously the home of a family of depraved, cannibal, Satan worshippers. But now the haunted hellhole rots in the mists of the isolated island ... a decaying monument symbolizing unspeakable terror. Only one man stands a chance against the house of horrors and the ghastly evil that lurks within its blood-soaked walls: Stanley Matheson, paranormal investigator and author of questionable talent ... a retired demon slayer possessing the awesome power of telekinesis. Recruited by his former monster-hunting colleagues to do battle with the blood-sucking menace, Matheson reluctantly turns vampire hunter with horrific and hilarious results. This third, blood-soaked sequel in the Stanley Matheson trilogy pits Matheson against and ancient, alien foe with a lust for human blood and the catchy, pop hits of Neil Sedaka. Island of the People Drinkers delivers West’s absurdist black humor and the usual buckets of gore and features illustrations by the author.
Then there is the novel tie-in adaptation of our movie, "Monsturd: A Novel of Fecal Terror" written by the screenwriters, Dan West and Rick Popko. You know this is a riveting read by the fact that it has sold at least zero copies to date as far as I know. (Synopsis) When escaped serial killer, Jack Schmitt suffers a fittingly horrific death in the sewer tunnels beneath Butte County, California, the shit hits the fan for the local sheriff's department and Schmitt's nemesis, FBI agent Susan Hannigan! A horrifying accident at Dutech Genetic Research Laboratories results in the killer's grotesque resurrection, and soon, using the county's sewer system as his underground lair, Schmitt exacts his odious revenge on the frightened citizens of Butte County. Do you dare spiral downward into the dark depths of this toilet bowl of terror? Read the horrific novel that is now a major motion picture sensation!
Then we have this little page-turner, "Dan West's Homemade Embalming Fluid" (Synopsis) A twisted collection of short stories that will slather your eyeballs with a sticky coating of horror! Reading this book is almost as fun as owning your very own "sex morgue!" From the author who brought you The House That Dripped Gore, And They All Died Screaming, Island of the People Drinkers and Monsturd: The movie tie-in novelization comes this truly warped, book-shaped thing with words and pictures printed on it.
Have you ever wondered what a true IP sequel to Monsturd might have been? I mean if you were to venture back to the scatological horrors of the original? No? Okay, well you wouldn't be alone on that one. But, if you did have that masochistic desire, then you are in ... is "luck" the right word? Rick Popko, co-creator of the original didn't seem to think so, as he rejected this little stab at a musical-tinged revisitation to fanciful fecal frolics. But nonetheless, here it is: "Monsturd Number Two: Revenge of the Turds." (Synopsis) The rejected screenplay for the sequel to the film Monsturd. This semi-musical movie script, written by half of the team who brought the world the original schlock classic, imagines what would happen if the saga of Dr. Stern and his horrible fecal experiments continued. Script features storyboards and production drawings by author, Dan West
